This is a journalled account of one woman's personal crisis. It is an account of a descent into madness and back out again; an inner voyage known by many names: the psychotic-visionary episode, spiritual emergency, post-traumatic-stress-disorder with psychotic features, the night sea journey, dark night of the soul, shamanism, gnosis, mysticism, alchemical process, individuation, ego death, kundalini awakening, the hero's journey, positive disintegration and likely, other names I'm not yet aware of. Some people of course, call it schizophrenia; a label I've outright rejected if only because insanity is the only sane response to an insane situation.
Although it's probably more common than the reader might think, such episodes remain relatively rare forms of psychological phenomenon. Rarer still is the individual who takes it through to completion on their own. What you will read on these web pages is a process untainted by any form of medication, professional supervision, or therapeutic intervention. I had no external guidance aside from the clues and characters that appeared in the story.
For that reason, this story may serve as a case study to any therapeautic caregiver who has never witnessed the unfoldment of the process in a natural environment. It may also serve as a resource to any person undergoing a similar experience or those in a position to support them. It may especially appeal to students of shamanism, gnosticism, mysticism, Jungian psychology, Jungian therapists, those involved in or intrigued by depth psychology, or those fascinated by the intrusion of archetypes and mythology into the lives of ordinary people.
This story deals with several profound incidents of trauma. Therefore, it may be of benefit to those who have undergone a traumatic experience or those who support someone suffering from any form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Due to the themes presented, be aware that triggering may occur. Please, take any necessary measures to provide for your safety and comfort. If the story brings up unpleasant reactions within you that you can't comfortably deal with, I urge you to set it aside for awhile or stop reading it entirely.
This is not a light-hearted story, although it may make you laugh. It is not meant to be skimmed – it is meant to be penetrated. Neither is it a pretty story, although you may find beauty within it. This is a story that is meant to be chewed, savored, mulled upon, and even spit out. It is written in a collective style using many voices, many of them unspoken.
This is a story about women. This is a story about men. This is a story about mothers and daughters. This is a story about husbands and wives. This is a story about love, hate, friendship, family, loyalty, betrayal, good, evil, courage, faith, tragedy, hope, terror, failure, pain, joy, heartbreak, grief, regret, remorse, unbearable loss and profound healing. It is a story about the cost of being fully, achingly human. Therefore, it may appeal to anyone who has ever lived.
