Somewhere...
over the rainbow
way up high
And the dreams
that you dream of
Once in a lullaby

Oh, somewhere
over the rainbow,
blue birds fly,
And the dreams
that you dream of
Dreams really do come true

Someday...
I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where
the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts
like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Oh, somewhere
over the rainbow,
blue birds fly
And the dreams
that you dare to
Oh why, oh why can't I?

Well, I see trees of green
and red roses too
I watch them bloom
for me and you
And I think to myself: 
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow
so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
of people passing by.
I see friends shaking hands, saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying
" I...I love you!"

Someday...
I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds
are far behind me.
Where trouble melts
like lemon drops,
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Oh, somewhere
over the rainbow,
way up high
And the dreams
that you dare to
Why then, oh why can't I?
BACK                      TABLE OF CONTENTS                      FORWARD


09-FEB-2002 23:01: The Empress, The Emperor, and the High Priestess

Gallagher was scrubbing the bathroom when Tess came in and perched on the edge of the tub. She held a letter in her hand. "I got lonely for my AC after we talked and I found an old letter we wrote -- a funny one. Do you want to hear it?"

"Certainly," Gallagher said as he buffed the mirror to a sparkling gleam.

"Okay," Tess said. "What happened was he told me he was getting married and in response, I said . . .
Date: 11/3/99 4:16:24 PM
From: Tess
To: The AC
Subject: Do I Have To Be Sedate?

Or can I climb up on the rooftops and shout out to the world -- MY BEST FRIEND'S GETTING MARRIED!

AC: Toi? Sedate? No, please, go right ahead.

Tess: My only regret is that ***** and I don't really talk . . .

AC: Not yet, anyway . . .

Tess: And therefore, I'll have to get all my details via you and you'll skip all the really good stuff, like what color the bridesmaids' dresses are . . .

AC: Burnt orange, of course . . .

Tess: And why Uncle Harry can't sit at Auntie Sally's table . . .

AC: Puh-leeze! This is a Highland Park shindig, all veddy prim and proper.

Tess: And what you're going to be putting in those little netty bags on the table. See? You don't even know what those little netty bags are, do you?

AC: I do so! They're, er, bags. That are sort of net-like. Not much good for holding anything in them, since whatever you put in them will fall through the holes.

Tess: Sheesh! I'm outta the loop.

AC: You are! What about me? I just made up that stuff about netty bags--I don't know what they are, honest!

Tess: It's a good thing you have me as a Friend because I'm telling you, more marriages have ended prematurely on account of those little netty bags than any other factor. Now, get this right. It's important!

The little netty bags will be made of a little netty fabric, most likely in a shade that compliments the bridesmaids' dresses (Ha! Burnt orange! Did you make her do that?) They'll be filled with nuts, candy, or mints and placed

~ just so ~

at each place setting as a sort of, "Thank you for allowing us to blow all this money on you" kind of present. Some people prefer to wrap the netty stuff around a lump of hard-ass road tar, also referred to as wedding cake -- which it isn't -- it's really surplus fruitcake left over from the great fruitcake stock of '47. You've been warned.

Anyway, personally, I'd go with the mints. That way, Auntie Sally will have something to discreetly flick at Uncle Harry when he leers to close to her decolletage (which is French for bazwonkers, but I'm sure you knew that), and if the mints hit a glass or something [*ting*] you and ***** will stand up and smooch and the crowd will go wild with cheering, and then everyone will start pitching their mints around in an effort to get you and ***** worked up to such a feverish pitch of frenzied passion, you take her right then and there on the cake table! (And you thought mints were only good for covering up your breath.)

. . . Are you still paying attention? Like I was saying, netty bags are one of those little details that if you overlook, or dare to roll your eyes at even once, will cause "The Bride" to burst into tears and run from the room whilst wailing, "YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!"

See? I told you this was important!

If you want to avoid all this heartbreak, when the subject of netty bags comes up, you must jump to your feet and proclaim, "I'm on that!" and this will endear you to ***** forever, and you'll live happily ever after.

Hugs,

Tess

Tess sighed. "We had a lot of fun in those days, Gallagher. We laughed a lot. But after a while, laughing and caring became a sin. It became a way of hurting someone else and we hadn't ever wanted to hurt anyone with our Friendship. It was supposed to be a good thing, but it became a bad thing." Tess sighed deeply. "He was happy in those days, Gallagher, and so was she. We were all happier back then -- all of us. It just seemed like I had my happy ending and he was going to get one of his very own."

Tess sighed again and twisted her hands in her lap. "In the beginning, I understood why she was leery about me because we were such good Friends. It made sense that she would wonder about me, but I tried to show her I understood how happy he was with her and how happy I was for him. I even did their tarot cards and showed her -- he was THE EMPEROR, she was THE EMPRESS. They were supposed to be together, Gallagher. I thought as long as we all knew that, it would be okay."

"And what about you?" Gallagher asked. "Weren't you supposed to be happy too?"

"I was, Gallagher. Back then, I was in his cards too -- I was THE HIGH PRIESTESS. But I can't be in his cards anymore; there isn't a place there for me."


                                   



Tess took a deep breath in and then let it all out. "If he had been a woman, it wouldn't have mattered. No one cares if two women are friendly. No one cares if they do kind things for each other to demonstrate their care or respect, but if a man and a woman declare themselves friends everyone winks and nudges. They think there's only one kind of love that can exist between them.

She sighed sadly once more. "I think I'm going to go lay down for a while. The bathroom looks nice though."

BACK                      TABLE OF CONTENTS                      FORWARD