08-FEB-2002 19:50: Leprosy Man
Excerpts: A Witch's Book of Dreams ~ Karri Allrich
Gallagher was polishing the appliances when Tess propped her elbows up on the counter that separated the small kitchen from the main room. "Hola," she said.
"Hola," he replied cheerfully. "I haven't seen you around much. How are you today?"
"I'm okay. I've been working. I'm working on figuring some things out. I picked up a book from the library the other day. Listen to what it has to say." Tess cleared her throat and began to read . . .
IN MANY INSTANCES, A WOMAN WILL CHOOSE TO PROJECT HER OWN INNER MASCULINE OUTWARD. SHE WILL LIVE HER LIFE HALF-FULL; HER ANIMUS WILL SLUMBER WITHIN HER. FOR AWHILE. THEN, SHE WILL OFTEN SEE HIM AWAKEN WITH ANGER FOR BEING DENIED.Tess stopped reading. "Do I seem angry to you, Gallagher?"
WHEN IGNORED AND LEFT UNEXPRESSED, THE ANIMUS WILL BECOME NEGATIVE, THE SHADOW ANIMUS, THE DEMON. YOU WILL HEAR HIS VOICE IN HER TONE OF BITTERNESS, THE SCATHING SARCASM, HER CRITICISM OF MEN, OR HER EDGY CONTROLLING ANGER.
"No, madame," he said. "Not at all."
"I didn't think so," she said as she returned to the book in her hands.
THIS WOMAN MAY SUFFER A DEEP DEPRESSION OR DREAM OF A DARK CONTROLLING LOVER, A "HIT MAN," A VAMPIRE, A HAUNTED LOVER WHO DRAINS HER OF ENERGY AND LIFE. SHE FEELS HE IS "EVIL" AND WILL HARM HER. WHEN A WOMAN REPRESSES THE ENERGY OF HER ANIMUS, HE DOES BECOME THREATENING. HIS ENERGY TURNS DESTRUCTIVE. WHEN CREATIVITY IS REPRESSED, IT TURNS AGAINST ITSELF."What do you think, Gallagher? Do you think it's at all remotely possible that Leprosy Man represents some aspect of my repressed creative spirit?"
"I'm not at all certain, madame. You don't seem bitter, or angry, or overly critical towards anyone, except Leprosy Man. And you're not lacking in creativity. Why do you feel it's so important that you know?"
"Because I have to know, Gallagher!" she exclaimed. "I have to figure out why that guy scares the bejeezus out of me. The way I see it, having the bejeezus scared out of you is a two part process: First, someone has to do something that could be construed as scary. And second, something within you has to respond by saying -- Whoa! That's some scary shit! Why did I do that? Why did I complete the circle by being scared?
Is Leprosy Man really a scary guy?" Gallagher asked.
"We're not talking Gomer Pyle on this one, Gallagher. I wasn't alone in being scared of him. Limh and Skadi were scared of him too. Skadi isn't anymore, but he never claimed to be in love with Skadi, so that probably makes a difference. As for Limh, I don't know. She's not talking to me -- remember?
Tess sighed. "I wish I knew exactly why I'm scared. Maybe I was wrong when I thought Colleen was the only one who carried the scars of a wounded childhood. Maybe I did too, and all it took to trigger that was for my mother to die and Leprosy Man to show up on the scene right after that, because he did scare me right from the very beginning. If that's the case, maybe he's just a bully like my birth father. Which makes me feel okay. I know how to deal with bullies. Then again, maybe he represents some frightening aspect of my own self. Maybe he's inside me. Maybe he's some darker shadow of my self that I don't want to look at."
"Or," she continued, "maybe he really is a scary guy that I should be scared of. But obviously, I have to figure it out because I can't spend the rest of my life wondering if he's going to show up on the doorstep someday with a meat cleaver in his hand. If he's a Bad-Bad Guy, maybe I should learn Kung Fu or something. And if he's not a Bad-Bad Guy -- if I'm the Bad-Bad Guy -- maybe I should just figure that out, work that through, and then get on with my life."
"Then again, maybe it's not even me I'm scared for," she added. "Maybe it's others. Maybe that's what that dream meant," she mused, "the one about finding a surprise in the basement. Maybe it means I'll discover that all these fears I have about Leprosy Man aren't really about Leprosy Man at all. On the other hand, given who we're talking about," she said, "Maybe it means he was lying about the surprise! Don't you see, Gallagher? These are the things I have to figure out before I can leave the Cloud Cuckoo Land Motel. Got a crystal ball?"
Gallagher shrugged his shoulders and stopped wiping the counter long enough to give her a sympathetic glance. "Sorry, madame. I don't. Would you like that I should call room-service?"
A Witch's Book of Dreams
Karri Allrich
Interview: Karri Allrich
